Thursday, August 18, 2005

Drivin' in a Pink Cadillac.....

Can I talk about something I cannot stand?
Ok Thanks. I will then.
I cannot stand aggressive Mary Kay salesladies. What is it with these ladies? They stalk me--I swear they do. I have been approached by them at the mall, at the place where I get manicures, at parties, at church (for God's sake people), at the gym etc. I must have that face that says *come bother me with whatever crap you happen to be selling*! I have NEVER worn Mary Kay, nor do I plan on it.

They start out all the same with pick up lines that rival a drunk frat boy on Penny Beer night. They begin by telling you how pretty you are, or how great your skin is. Puh Leez! That is how they get your attention--then BAM they start in with their crap. "Have you ever heard of Mary Kay Cosmetics?" "It is the number one selling skin care and makeup line in the United States." OH REALLY? Tell that to Shiseido --idiots! I do not even know anyone who wears Mary Kay cosmetics anymore. When I was growing up (in Oklahoma) all my friends and I wanted it because it came in groovy pink packaging. Granted we were in 7th grade, but still. It was considered " high-end" to me and all my junior high friends. All the beauty queens wore it, and that is a HUGE selling point in Oklahoma and Texas!

Have you ever been to Dallas? More specifically, have you ever driven to Dallas going South on I-35? Well if you have not--you are missing out. Right when you get into Downtown Dallas Proper there is a HUGE ( and not at all obnoxious) PINK MIRRORED SKYSCRAPER that is the monument to Mary Kay. It is the Mary Kay national headquarters. It is where the magic happens. Word to the wise--if you drive by it at about 8pm in the summer, the setting sun reflecting off those horrible pink mirrored tiles can burn your eyes into pieces of charred coal. Seriously. Hence all the opthamologists in Dallas. You think I am kidding, but I'm not.
The Mary Kay Salesladeis have big conventions there a few times a year. They eat, dance, sing songs about Mary Kay, give testimonials about how Mary Kay changed their lives and made them an independent woman(cue Destiny's Child song), and many tears are shed, but not to worry Mary Kay makes a waterproof mascara. Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking any business that allows for women to take charge of thier own lives via lipliners and blue eyeshadow. I think that is great, but why the hell do they have to bother me about it?

These salesladies who approach me about Mary Kay while I am going about my business do not just want me to BUY Mary Kay Cosmetics--NO they want me to SELL Mary Kay cosmetics. It is like a pyramid thing---if they recruit me then they make profits from my sales--this is what drives them to be so aggressive. Even if I liked Mary Kay Cosmetics (which I DO NOT) I am so turned off by anyone aggressive. It is so annoying! And you know what is even more annoying? The reward for years of driving 20 miles to deliver a $8.00 lipsticks is a horrible PINK CADILLAC. God people is there anything more annoying than a pink cadillac? Oh --the other car you can win is a burgandy Grand Am. GRAND AM? My God, what is this 1989?

I think next time I am minding my own business and one of these awful clown face beauties bother me with Mary Kay, I am going to have to go all Kimora Lee Simmons on them and just be a total bitch.
Stick that in your pink cadillac and smoke it!

*No offense to anyone who sells or wears Mary Kay cosmetics. This blog is for entertainment purposes only.


Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

LOL...You are too cute with Kimora Lee Simons.

And you are right: these blogs are for our own purposes, whatever that may be...

Can't wait to see you next week.

5:49 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

The disclaimer is cute, and Mary Kay is old-fashioned and dated I think. Actually, that whole sales concept kinda reminds me of Tupperware Parties. I once read this ALLURE magazine article about Mary Kay and they mentioned her fluffy conferences where top sales people are rewarded with pink cadillacs, and she was crazy about pink! Speaking of aggressive selling, try entering a department store on Michigan Ave., those perfume spritzers can be quite the annoyance.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

((Barb)) cannot wait to give you a hug!

Funny that you mention the Fragrance Spritzers on Michigan Ave. I am all too familiar with them as I am somewhat of a Fragrance NUT!!
The Neiman Marcus ladies are the worst.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Sand said...

Growing up there were also a lot more Mary Kay cars out here but given the fact that women have more options open to them I think sales have gone down.

I tried Mary Kay skincare and makeup all through high school and my freshman year of college but it was too harsh for my skin. I do like the Satin Hands kit however and did swap for one of their fragrances but ended up giving that away.

They are far too pushy and it sucks when a friend of a friend or so has recently joined the "cult of pink."

12:47 AM  
Blogger Tania said...

I would so love to drive a ghastly Pepto pink Mary Kay Cadillac. It would be the height of tacky. I would love it.

Remind me someday to tell you about my hilarious adventures in Amway. Very similar.

4:22 PM  
Blogger fcappy said...

I cannot believe such a biased view is allowed - PINK rules and you KNOW you love Mary Kay products. HA - you could always have a pushy fragrance coordinator of a large "invite-only-to-a-public venue" event ask why you DARED shop without her or her approval. I think our friend could definitely train some Mary Kay saleswomen. Nice blog darling.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

I can just see you puttering around SOHO in a pink caddy! You know the Aedes boys would LURVE you!

Welcome to the blog!
You CRACK ME UP. You are so right about your comment. I may just go all K-K-Kimora Lee on her someday too!

11:13 AM  
Blogger Beth Danae said...

This blog is funny, and oh so true! I agree, and the last MK girl that came up to me while shopping had horrible make-up on! So why would I want to buy what she's got!

12:25 PM  
Blogger The Siren said...

My first visit, and I find this hilarious post! The bit about the Mary Kay skyscraper is priceless. I have never been to Dallas but if I go I will consider myself and my poor eyeballs warned.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Luanne said...

What a great post!!! lolol - You're not alone, many others avoid the Mary Kay lady like the plague too ;-)

The Truth about Mary Kay Cosmetics

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to update you, Mary Kay is not your grandma's make up. It's new and fresh. I sell MK, but I never walk up to people and "stalk them". If it comes up in conversation, that's different.

Anyway, just to let you know that we're not all bad.

9:17 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Actually, I am kinda pissed with the comments..I think you guys are jealous! We probably make more money than you will make all of your life! You should be honored that a Mary Kay women approached you with the opportunity! Evidently, she saw something in you that you don't see! Maybe a sharp women. FYI..We have more free car drivers that taxi cabs in the US! Thank you! Some take the cash option! You may need MK in your life one day..Don't burn your bridge!

7:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm also a MK consultant.... I finally got to quit a job where people were rude (I worked as customer service staff at a grocery store). Did you know that over 200 woman made more than 1 million dollars selling Mary Kay? Or how about the one who made more than 10 million???? Guess you don't know where the cash is at honey!!!

Oh yeah... I also don't walk up to people... I'm way too shy for that!

9:03 PM  

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