Saturday, June 17, 2006

Reader Request

(edited) -Grrr I wanted to add a really cool graphic here, and I will keep trying--however Blogger is not letting me add any images today. DAMMIT!

Today I wil be answering a request from a reader. Most of you who read this blog are probably familiar with this reader. His posts are witty and biting and crass and funny and flirty (especially with Melanie and a mystery woman with cute sandals and pink toenails). Annie especially loved the post about the bars he has visited and barmaids he has had his way with.

"C" aka Lost Okie, from California asked me to blog about actors and actresses who are horrible at accents. "C" had quite a few ideas of his own, he also had a few ideas of actors or actresses who have good accents. I believe he mentioned Madonna--what?

I have very few talents. BUT I rock at doing accents. Where does that get me? No the hell where, but it is fun, and I am a hit at improv becasue of my accent talent. So it is with confidence that I list some actors with horrible accents. " C" do you have a pen and paper?

AHEM..... Bad Accents:

1. The whole cast of Brokeback Mountain *EXCEPT Randy Quaid*.
Anne Hathaway, Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams--their Southern accents sucked-- ALL OF THEM. Michelle had a stellar performance but her accent was blah. Poor Anne Hathaway just sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me, plus she showed her tooters--even more offensive than her faux accent! Heath Ledger--bad accent, plus a speech impediment. Ang Lee must have never heard an authentic Southern Accent before--EVER.

2. Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal (yet again) for their sorry Southern Accents in The Good Girl. John C Reily had a quite good Southern accent. He impressed me with the whole Teeny Tiny Tini bit.

3. Daryl Hannah in Steel Magnolias. Her Southern accent was so exaggerated and fake, which is a shame because Dolly and Sally and Julia brought such real Southern charm to the table.

4. Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones Diary. I know, I know, she actually had a good British accent, but I KNOW she is a Texan, so I was distracted the whole time.

5. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting. The weird thing is they are both actually from Boston, but their abrasive South Boston accents just sounded weird and like they were trying too hard.

6. Naomi Watts in The Ring. Her American accent is just so unconvincing. UGH In the same boat as Naomi is her good friend Nicole Kidman.

7. Larry The Cable Guy-- He goes in and out of his accent, I cannot hold it against him though because he is supposed to be silly and funny.....Not a serious actor

8. Laurence Fishburne in Pee Wee's Playhouse--His Southern Accent was atrocious! But oh how I loved that show!

I am sure there are many many many more, and please feel free to tell me some. I am sure "C" would love to hear your opinions.

On the other hand, I think Meryl Streep is great at all accents. I loved her accent in Bridges Of Madison County!
I also think many of the actors on The Sopranos who are not from Jersey sound pretty dang good.

I think Taye Diggs had a great Jamaican accent in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Hubba McHubba!

Oh- and Robin Williams is VERY good at accents too.


Blogger melanie said...

I hate to admit it, but I think Gwenyth Paltrow does a good faux British accent. It's so much better than Madonna's. I also am consistently amazed at Nicole Kidman's real voice because she does the American accent so well in her movies. Cate Blanchete and Toni Coleete are also damn good. Colin Farrell can rock any accent and loose his "someone's after me Lucky Charms" brogue pretty well.

I'm drawing a blank at any bad ones right now. Except for Keanu Reeves when he tries to do a period piece. *ahhhh... my ears, my ears!*

Also, maybe the graphic was too big. Try resizing it and editing the post.

8:00 PM  
Blogger Jonniker said...

You know, I'm with you the whole way, except for Good Will Hunting. As a Bostonian, I often find that people doing Boston accents are often sounding like they are faking it, or making it up. That's part of the beauty of the accent - it's so over the top, it sound fake! Like BUTTAH! or MAHgerine!

8:03 PM  
Blogger melanie said...

Also, C should look to my greatest TV crush, James Garner, for inspiration. He has a great voice and you can still hear it in the Chevy "Like a Rock" commercials. He's from Okie, but lost the accent early in his career.

*blasts the Rockford Files theme song*

8:06 PM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

OH MY GOD Melanie--C just fell deeper in love with you for mentioning Jim Garner! He is an okie and he is awesome. C likes the old school stars, and I know Jim Garner will get his juices flowing.
Revving my 1976 Trans Am engine!

Hi Jonna-

I trust what you say becasue you are from Beantown. Maybe I am just too Southern to fully appreciate the Boston accent. I tried to post on your blog the other day about Britney Spears and your blog was not loving me! My post got lost in the abyss! BOO


8:17 PM  
Blogger Curley's Mobile DJ Services said...

PJ -
I love that my suggestion and ran with it. Even more surprising you stuck with all the bad accents but, didn't offer any good ones. I mostly agree with your assessment on the WILL HUNTING. Although I fully believed Matt (that might be because I think he is the real deal when it comes to acting) I couldn't stomach listening to BEN A'S fake accent. After all - isn't he from Bean Town? The answer is no - he isn't from Boston. He was born and raised in LA. He didn't move to Boston until he was around 10 years old. There is also another obvious answer - HE SUCKS!

Jonniker -
I don't buy the faking it thing. I have a friend who has that accent and you can easily tell that he is not faking it. It is a lot more suttle than the classic movie Boston accent but it is so obvious that he is from Boston. I actually think that is the trap for anyone doing an accent in Hollywood. Most actors tend to take the accent to the extreme no matter if they are doing Southern, British, French, or Russian. The best ones are very suttle.

PJ -
I list some who I think are good accents.

Brad Pitt - Kalifornia(Southern), Snatch(Irish)
Hugh Jackman - X-Men(American)
Robert Patrick - X-Files (New York)
Johnny Depp - Pirates(British), Chocolat(French)
Meryl - You know why I put her here!
Heath Ledger - Monster Ball, Brokeback(Southern) I know you took offense but I have to jump in and say that I have an uncle who sounds just like him in Brokeback.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

READ the post....I did put some good ones at the bottom.
MERYL is one I put too!

2:07 AM  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

The prize for over-the-top accents goes to the cast of Fargo, especially Frances McDormand, whom I ordinarily LOVE but whose northwoods yah-dere-hey accent was cringeworthy. Yes, they really do talk like that in northern Wisconsin and Minnesota, but the accent is more subtle.

I used to think the hard Chicago accent adopted by Mike Myers and Chris Farley in their SNL "Da Bears" skits was over the top, until I met a guy from Chicago who really talks that way. I'm sure you have too.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Patricia Perry said...

Some of my "bad accent" award-winners:

Julia Roberts does an incredibly bad Irish accent in "Michael Collins."

Holly Hunter - I love her, BUT she played a Bostonian in this weird little movie called "Once Around" (shows up on cable now and then) and she only remembered to use her Boston accent in about 3 scenes - quite embarassing!

Anthony Hopkins is a great actor who really doesn't do American accents very well. All his American characters sound British to me.

Special award to Kevin Costner who was too lazy even to ATTEMPT a British accent in "Robin Hood." Ditto to Robert Redford, who played a British character in "Out of Africa" but just didn't bother to sound like one.

As for the Good Accent awards:
Cate Blanchett is amazing. Another Aussie with a very convincing American accent is Rachel Griffiths. Alfred Molina can do just about any accent well - it's a big shock to hear him interviewed - his real voice is distinctively working-class London.

Meryl Streep, of course, belongs in the accent hall of fame.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

I lived in Oklahoma when both Fargo and Da Bears skit were popular. I did not believe anyone had accents like that until I moved to the Chicago area. I know many people now who sound just like Chris Farley in that skit. I actually like it! When I lived up North (by Wisconsin) I heard a lot of folks who spoke like Frances too, but like you said--the accent is more subdued.

Hola Joni,

I agree with everything you said. I was often confused during Out of Africa becasue Robert sounded the same as always??
And might I add--you are a wizard with accents too. Your Eastern European accent was the birth of Joni! It still cracks me up when you bust out a little bit of the Joni Window monologue.
I cannot help but crack up at how strong your accent was then Mike H. busts out with Uh yeah uh how ya doin' there Joni? It cracks me up every time!

3:37 PM  
Blogger Whitepoppy said...

I'm sorry lostokie - but Brad Pitt in Snatch - good Irish accent??

Have you ever heard a real Irish person speak???

11:32 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

I must agree with you here Whitepoppy. Brad Pitt almost sounded like a very bad British Cockney accent as opposed to an Irish Accent. I honestly think Brad and Guy R. were just having some fun with that accent. It was like some weird UK hybrid accent of some weird unknown origin meant only for entertainment purposes.

Having spent time in Ireland I can honestly say that Brad Pitt sounded like NOONE I met on the Emerald Isle.

11:53 AM  

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