Monday, August 07, 2006

Embarrassed

This week, The Monkey has been embarrassed on more than one occasion. Anyone who knows me in real life, knows a lot of my behavior warrants embarrassment. So here is plenty of fodder for those who wish to make fun of me.

First off--I am totally embarrassed that all week I craved fried cheese. I am not talking about cheese sticks which are breaded then baked--no I mean FRIED CHEESE CURDS. As if cheese were not bad enough--I want it dipped in grease. That is just shameful.

I am embarrassed that I bought the soundtrack to High School Musical for my cousin (who is a child), but I listened to it first --and liked it so much that I made myself a copy--and I listen to it way too much. Have you heard it? It is touted as the new "Grease". WRONG! It is like the squeaky clean, more boring, cornball version of Grease. But the music is fun--Gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game! Ok- I hate to be snarky and talk bad about anyone's dental orientation, but Kirsten for the love of Jesus.....you have tons of money.....you live in the veneer capital of the world--get some orthodontics or something. In this picture she literally has FANGS. It is disturbing on so many levels. Her eyes also look mean--like she really is a vampire. This photo of her scares the heck out of me. Plus she is dating Andy Samberg whom I love, so if it were not her fangs, I would just find something else to rip on her about. But the fangs--seriously Kirsten, this is just embarrassing.



I am also embarrassed that I plan to go see The Ballad or Legend or something of Ricky Bobby and I plan on loving it. Even though I loathe all things pace car, Indy, or Nascar--this movie looks hilarious.

This is how my dog Forrest (who loves all people of all religions) felt when he heard about the debacle that is Mel Gibson. Forrest was so embarrassed for Mel's behavior, as was most of the world.
Last but most certainly not least--I am mortified AND embarrassed about this photo I happened to run across this weekend. This photo was taken many many years ago at some sort of night club--that may or may not have been called Fritzi's and may or may not have had a room in the back with male strippers that may or may not have been known by some as the Weenie Wagon. I am not making this up people. I never went in the back room with the strippers because I went to college with most of them and they grossed me out--also I was just there for the music. The whole front of the club was for dancing--and that is what I liked to do--DANCE. I am with my friend whom we will call Jolene*--she is on the right, I am on the left and mystery man is in the middle. I look like I have a death grip on Jolene*, and I am holding her up--and she does not look happy about it. She is sure as hell rocking that vest though. The guy in the middle is a mystery to me, I swear I do not not know him--he must have been just some random guy who decided to get in the picture with us. He obviously smokes a lot and sent in 147 Kool Cigarette box tops to win that kick ass T-shirt though. Maybe he was with the band. It looks as though I am cracking up laughing in this picture--maybe I knew at the time how utterly ridiculous the whole scene was. I do remember Jolene* and I having a blast that night.

I am embarrassed of this picture for so many reason--none of which happen to be my big rock and roll hair, my high waisted shorts, nor my chiclet acrylic glamour length fingernails. No, not for any of that. Nope.

Care to share any of your embarrassing moments with me?

(* names changed to protect the innocent)

Hugs to Jolene*

14 Comments:

Blogger greeneyes said...

This post cracked me up!

Kirsten Dunst indeed has fangs. They distracted me all through both Spiderman movies.

I too loathe all things Nascar and plan to see that movie and love it.

Were you at that strip club for the movies the way men read Playboy for the articles? ;)

Embarassing moments to share...
1) Blonde (uh, fake blonde) spiral perm. So. Very. Bad.
2) Walking all the way from my apartment to campus on my first day to teach at the university...with the skirt of my dress tucked up in my belt. Hello!

7:50 AM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

GREAT POST!!

and i was thinking that guys jeans were a bit too high!!!!!! didnt even look at yours!!!!!!!!!

i have to ponder on embarrassing moments. none of which have any sort of evidence as a picture...

8:35 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

Hi Greeneyes--
ROFL!!!
Oh the shirt in the belt fiasco must have been horrible. My sympathies.

Behold the spiral perms. What the heck were we thinking?

Oh yes--I was just at the club for educational reasons!

Have a great day!!

Hi Junebug-

Tee hee hee---yes, it was the years of high waisted pants--Loud and Proud!

Thanks for visiting! I have been keeping up with your blog and I seriously do not know how you run like you do in the Houston heat.
You are an iron woman! Kudos to you!

Have a lovely day!

9:05 AM  
Blogger joni said...

That picture of Kirsten Dunst is truly frightening. She looks like she is audtioning for the part of Damien in a new "Omen" movie.

On the subject of embarassing perms - in the early 80s, I had a perm that really, truly did look like Roseanne RosannaDanna's hair. I am not just exaggerating for comic effect here - my hair was about two feet wide. The beautician responsible for this nightmare used about 400 very small rollers in my hair - the whole process took over 4 hours! The day I showed up at work with my Roseanne RosannaDanna hair was the most embarassing day of my life!

Other embarassing fact - I still have the soundtrack to the movie "Godspell" (except now I have it on CD instead of vinyl) AND I still listen to it in the car sometimes and sing along! And when I catch the movie on TV, I still cry when they strap Victor Garber to the playround fence for the "crucifixion."

1:39 PM  
Blogger WinterWheat said...

The funny thing is, despite the high-waisted pants and questionable taste in Men to Get Excited Over, you look gorgeous. :-)

Kirsten Dunst looks inbred to me. There, I said it. It's all the more reason to make sure her teeth are PERFECT, since nothin' says Cousin Lovin' like messed-up teeth.

Um, when I was in high school we had an assembly where I was given an award. I was eating Hershey's Kisses in my seat, way in the back of the room, before they called me up. I walked the entire length of the auditorium with several foil wrappers stuck to my sweater-dress-clad ass.

2:25 PM  
Blogger jennipah said...

OMG, this post is too TOO funny!

i tried to think of embarrassing moments, but i'm always doing silly things too, so i'm not usually turning red because of them.

a few years ago, i attended a bumble and bumble hair show, where i thought i would be made into a gorgeous goddess with a mane made of dreams. after several minues of hacking, i walked away with a mullet and a long tail. no joke. my best friend tried not to look horrified as she inspected my scalp and exclaimed, "you have HOLES in there!"

i ended up wearing my hear in a slicked-back low pony for about two years. i guess it was a lesson learned.

BTW, the high-waisted thing is back in; and shorts - fuhgetaboutit! you were ahead of your time, girl! ;)

5:53 PM  
Blogger melanie said...

Awww. Bless Forrest's heart. And I think you were hugging that guy because he is even more ginger-haired than you :^) Either that or you secretly love the fu man chu or whatever that predecessor to the goatee is called.

My most embarassing moment is when I answered the door in a velvet smoking jacket from VS that was hella low cut and my new neighbor came over to introduce himself. There was an awkward silence and I look down to see that the "v" had shifted and my entire breast was exposed. "Well hellllooooooo to you, too!" *blushes*

6:23 PM  
Blogger katiedid said...

Oh god. Kool guy is making me laugh. Like, I know it's awful, but I keep having to relook at that picture, and then I just start laughing again.

There's no shame in fried cheese. It's like fighting fire with fire, or uh, grease with grease. They cancel each other out! Right? Right? *don't tell me otherwise, or it'll break my heart*

6:29 PM  
Blogger lostokie said...

Funny post Monkey!!!

The KOOL picture...WOW! That man looks like a serial killer. You got lucky to escape without harm. Must be your charm.

Just got back from my Vegas where we visited my in-laws. They were playing High School Musical for our kids. I laughed badly for hours. The cafeteria scene is the best. All of the kids singing about their guilty pleasures...to funny. These kids make the Brady's look like Satan's children. Would old WHHS cafeteria songs be rated G? My guilty HS pleasure song wouldn't!

My embarrassing moment? Do I name just one?

4:44 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

*Hello Joni-

Oh my gosh--what I would not give to see a picture of you as Rosanne Rosanna Danna! Too funny. I am sure you were mortified!

Did you see Fame Becomes Me with Martin Short when it was in Chicago? They did a Godspell spoof--it was hilarious. Nicole Sullivan from Mad TV was one of the stars in the show.

*Hello WinterWheat-

Thanks so much for the kind words. The picture embarrasses me, but also makes me laugh out loud.
NOOOOOOO--you did not say Kirsten looked imbred. That is the funniest thing I have heard all week. You speak the truth though.
HA about your candy kisses wrappers. I can only imagine the nicknames you earned from that.
Hugs to you and Baby Fi.

*Hi Jennipah-

WHAT--someone at Bumble and Bumble gave you not only a mullet, but a mullet with a TAIL? Was it 1985? Oh my gosh--your beautiful hair! I bet you were ticked off! Whta the heck was the hair dresser thinking? GAH!

*Melvis,

Forrest sends his love. ROFL even more ginger haired than me! His was cool and feathered.
I cannot believe you flashed your tooter at your neighbor! Bless his heart!

Howdy Katie--

Aww you keep laughing at the Kool Guy!! Bless his heart. I wonder what he would think about becoming quasi famous (yet anonymous) from a blog post all these years later! Just kidding.
You are right about the Fried Cheese--it is good for us. Regulates us and clears up acne--or at least that is what I believe!

Hi Curtis--

My guilty pleasure in high school was taco bell, Cole Haans, and skatting--not skateing--but skatting like the blues singers--shooby dooby wah wah wah WEEEEEEE.

Know what I mean?

Much love to all!

10:17 AM  
Blogger IrisLA said...

I got High School Musical for my tweener daughter, and I ended up listening to it as well. If I'm not careful, I'll be singing along with her on the karaoke tracks!

8:01 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

Hi Iris-
Thanks for stopping by.

The music is catchy isn't it? At least you have a child--so you have a reason to listen--I just do it because I am lame!

Have a great day!

6:04 AM  
Blogger arizonagolfpro said...

LMAO at H.S. Musical.....because of my chitlins....I know everyword too and rather enjoy it as well! Good post Miss Jen.......

love ya!

Jamey

11:02 AM  
Blogger Parisjasmal said...

Hi J!
Thanks for visiting! I have yet to see HSM the movie, but I can jam on the soundtrack.

xo

10:00 AM  

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