Jeremy Piven ..Journey of a Lifetime, or just something for publicity.

Tomorrow night the HD(high def) Channel is premiering a special about Jeremy Piven traipsing across India getting in touch with his inner soul-* I will give you a moment to stifle your laughs*...... It will also be shown on the more popular Travel Channel on April 3. Now, most of you know I really like Jeremy Piven. I do not know what origninally drew me to him, but I do like him a lot. He has that sparkley eye thing going on when he smiles...it is really special and really rare and it gets me every time. Is he the sexiest man in the world?--Maybe not. Is he the most talented man in Hollywood?--Maybe not. But homeboy has that rare and oh so special sparkley eye magic, and the sparkley eye magic is the thing!
Click here to see my more of my adoration for J-Piv:
http://monkeyposh.blogspot.com/2005/09/folks-that-make-monkey-smile-premier.html


The show is called Journey of a Lifetime....with Jeremy Piven. I saw one of the commercials for this production and it showed my boy Jeremy Piven in a TOGA. Now if my memory serves me well from all my ancient Rome and Greek studies--then traditionally men wear nothing under a toga.

HELLO--Jeremy Piven.....NAKED.....under a sheet?

Travel Channel ----ARE YOU READING MY FREAKIN MIND?

(banner on top is from HDTV.com, and the other is from a free poster page)

Right on Target.

Have you ever been to Target to pick up Diet Mountain Dew and you did not want to go because you do not even like Diet Mountain Dew but your husband wants some and you want to be a good spouse and all, but it is also raining, and you know once you are in Target you will find all sorts of other stuff you do not need, and spend way too much money?

Then while you are in Target meandering with your red cart you keep running into the same person, and you are thinking to yourself "This man is totally following me". Then thoughts of Ted Bundy run through your mind. You run into him again and he makes eye contact then you start thinking "Oh my God, maybe he thinks I am following him". Then you get all embarrassed and self conscious. Then in the midst of your paranoia you see him again in the CD's and you think " Oh my God this man is security (he must be, who actually shops for CD's at Target?) and he is following me because he thinks I am stealing". You freak out, get a little indignant, take refuge in the tampon aisle, take a deep breath, then you get a hold of yourself.
So, you decide to get a coffee at the Starbucks located in Target so you can lose him...Then the coffee is not hot enough. I hate when the coffee is not hot enough. I like to stretch my 3 dollar coffee drink out for a while, so if it is not hot enough in the beginning then it just gets cold too quickly, and then I get bitter about paying 3 dollars for a mediocre, lukewarm coffee. Then I just get pissed about the whole Starbucks big corporation putting smaller business out of business and taking over the world thing.

So has this sort of thing happened to you- AND you were wearing jeans that are too long? And as I mentioned before it is raining and so everytime you take a step, you are stepping on the wet matted denim under you heel from the too long part of the jeans? You try to fold them under in a feeble attempt to quit walking on them, but they are wet...So they will not fold, they just keep wadding up under the heel of your shoe?

Then as you are walking around with your coffee you start getting hot and you need to take your rain jacket off, but you remember you have on low rise jeans and surely after walking on the too long bottom of the jeans for an hour they are half-way down your bum (low risers do this folks) so you cannot take your jacket off or you will flash the stroller brigade trapseing through Target. And you could hike your jeans up while still wearing the coat, but that would just look stupid.
And you are afraid the stalker/security guy would see you and think you are flirting with him or that you are totally weird. Even though he is a homely, stalkery guy shopping for CD's at Target, you live in the suburbs and your life is really lackluster, so sometimes maybe getting attention from a Target weirdo is the highlight of you day, and heaven forbid you have bad manners in front of him and hike your jeans up--because my God he may become disenchanted, then what would you do?

Yup, that was pretty much my morning. Has that ever happened to you?

Congrats Post Secret!!! Blog of the Year!

SSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a SECRET!

Congratulations to Post Secret for winning a Bloggie for Best Blog of the Year!

If you have never been to Post Secret it is www.postsecret.com .
It is a very interesting and somewhat creepy site. Creepy in that I feel like a voyeur reading other people's deepest darkest secrets.

In honor of Post Secret's win, today I invite you to tell me some of your secrets. If you are someone who reads my blog, but never posts, then this is the perfect opportunity for you to say hello. What better way for us to get acquainted than through sharing some secrets--HA! If you are a regular poster/friend...then please tell me some secrets I did not already know about you. I am always looking for good fodder to tease my friends with.

Here are a couple of my secrets:

When a cashier at a store asks me for my phone number I ALWAYS make one up.

You know those stupid subscription cards they stick in magazines? Well I sometimes fill them out with crazy made up names and addresses and mail them back to the publishing companies. Like Funky Monkey Road in Butternut Squash, Utah. Just crazy stuff. I know it is wrong, but when I cannot even read a Vogue without makeshift confetti falling on my lap--well it annoys the hell out of me!

I eat fish sticks for breakfast. I know this sounds gross--that is why I keep it a secret.

Please share some of your secrets with me!

(the photo is of a very silly mystery girl, the hat is for Melanie because she does not feel good today)

Cle De Peau --epitome of posh

I love Cle De Peau la Creme. I first read about it in a magazine a few years back. It sounded great, but I lamented over the price. I was lucky enough to get a couple of samples and I was hooked. This is truly one of the best products I have ever used. It is creamy and silky and wonderful. It melts into my skin with no greasy or oily residue. I usually reserve use of the cream for when my skin is dry. During the summer months I use their lotion which is also wonderful. I cannot say enough good things about it. Cle de Peau also makes beautiful cosmetics. Their concealer stick is THE BEST concealer I have ever used. My holy grail of concealers.

While shopping in New York City a couple of years ago I met Darka at the Cle De Peau counter at Bergdorf Goodman. Darka is very smart about her products. She is also funny and beautiful and a blast to visit with. She keeps me abreast of all their specials and she keeps me well informed on the products.

I have read that J-Lo and Kimora Lee Simmons both use this cream, but please do not hold that against Cle De Peau-HA. No matter how you feel about J-Lo or Kimora, they both have gorgeous skin.

Cle de Peau is a total treat, and makes this monkey feel oh so posh!

You can find Cle de Peau at Bergdorf Goodman, Neiman Marcus, and Saks Fifth Ave. among other places.
If you see Darka at the Cle De Peau counter at Bergdorf's , tell her I said hello.

Tom and me sittin' in a tree.....

Ahem.

To all you naysayers who always make fun of me about my love for Tom Ford ( and by naysayers who always make fun of me about my love for Tom Ford I mean TANIA)I have only one thing to say:

Tom Ford has named a pair of his sunglasses after me. That is right. One of the styles in his new line of sunglasses is named after moi. Now I know that my name is common, but not in his circles. If he wanted to name them after someone in his circle, wouldn't he have named them Gwyneth, or Naomi, or Elton? Well he didn't-- he called them by MY name. One could say that it is just coincidence...and who am I to argue, really? I, however will continue to believe that I am one of his sunglass muses. I have lots of photos of myself in front of his awesome window display at Bergdorfs in NYC with sunglasses on. One (and by one I mean me) can only assume he saw the photos and was like "THERE IS MY MUSE" . In the photo on the left are the sunglasses he named after me. Aren't they lovely? Yes, thank you.

I love Tom Ford--everyone knows. I love him not in a sexual way (which would only be futile and eventually very painful for me) but more in an admirable way. He is SO SEXY and talented and brooding, and bitchy, and weird. Talented because his lines for Gucci and YSL will go down in history. He turned both houses completely around, and made them sexy and modern. Weird because his recent photo editorial in Vanity Fair is just plain, well, weird. Because of these sunglasses I can only guess he at least likes me too. Just goes to show that fashion and love know no bounds.
Note to Tom Ford:
Thanks Tom, I am forever grateful you named your sunglasses after me. I am sure you wanted to give me a free pair and the wires just somehow got crossed. It is OK, I ordered them from NeimanMarcus.com this morning. I will wear them loud and proud.

(photos are from NeimanMarcus.com and from my very own camera)

*Aedes De Venustas*

Aedes De Venustas---I love this store. It is a jewel box located in the Greenwich Village area of New York City. I first visited Aedes about 5 or 6 years ago and I immediately fell in love.
The ambience, the fragrances, the location, the men and their dogs! Everything was perfect. Especially for a perfume lover like me.

For those of you who do not know, Aedes is a beautiful fragrance (and other beauty and home products) store. They carry some of the best, most coveted fragrances in the world.
The owners are dapper gentlemen who treat all their customers like royalty.
Some of the brands they carry are:

Montale
L'Artisan Parfumer
Comptoir Sud Pacifique
Ambra de Venezia
Carthusia
Serge Lutens
Vip Candles
Diptyque fragrance, and candles
Anthousia diffusers
Jurlique skin care
La Ligne St Barth skin care

Those are just a few of the many brands they have . The photo is of my Aedes De Venustas candle by L'Artisan Parfumer. I love this candle...in fact I just ordered my second one. I wrote the gentelmen at Aedes to ask if the scent of this candle would ever be made into a perfume and I am happy to report that something like that is in the works--HOORAY!

If you are ever in The Village stop by Aedes-- you will be treated very special and I guarantee you will leave there smelling better than when you went in!

Aedes is located at :
9 Christopher Street
New York, New York
10014

Call them at :
212.206.8674

Shop online at:
Aedes.com

Tell them Monkeyposh sent you!

So sorry! I am a nimrod!

Oh my gosh...I am reeling. I just realized there is a comment moderator page for my blog. A few months ago I had to put comment moderator on my blog so that a certain few nutters would quit posting insane things on my blog. I was under the impression that when someone commented on my blog I would get an e-mail notice and I could screen the comment before it was posted. I THOUGHT this is how it was going down...until this very minute. I had never clicked on the comment moderator page--why would I ? All my comments were showing up in my e-mail right?

WRONG!

There were about 10 comments unpublished in my comment moderator box because I was not aware they were there. ARGH!

So, to Winterwheat, Jonniker, Jamie, Lost Okie, BarbarafromCalifornia, TessaJ, and any others who posted on my blog and I did not publish it--I am so so so sorry. I had no idea. Please keep posting on my blog. I love to hear from each and every one of you. I appreciate your comments --they truly make my day.

Oh and Jamey and Joni--I miss your posts too!

Once again I am so sorry!
I will be sure to check the comment moderator page from now on. Thanks for all the great comments!

QUIRKY

My friend Annie at BlogdorfGoodman. blogspot.com tagged me (along with all her readers) to list 5 weird or quirky facts about myself...so here goes

1. I love cabbage...raw or cooked, green or purple. Sometimes for lunch I will eat a half of a head of cabbage with fresh chives sprinkled on top then some sort of dressing. My favorites are ranch or a little bit of fresh squeezed lemon mixed with olive oil. I eat it with a knife and a fork as if it were a piece of steak. I truly love cabbage.

2. I CANNOT eat raw tomatoes. They gross me out, however I love tomato juice, tomato paste, tomato sauce, marinara sauce etc. I like every variation of tomato except the tomato itself.

3. I have a huge fear of failure. Being an only child and having 2 very militant parents--I was expected to always be perfect...look perfect, act perfect etc. Failing was never OK. So as an adult I have a HUGE fear of failure.

4. I am very into hands. I love a well groomed hand. I do not have particularly beautiful hands, but my hands are always well groomed. If someone has nasty, dirty, janky fingernails that is a total turnoff to me. Dirty hands gross me out. There are exceptions--I know that if you are working in the dirt or something like that there is going to be dirt on the hands, but AS SOON as the work is done the hands should be clean. NO EXCUSES!

5. One of the ways I seek validation is through humor. We all seek validation people! In school I was never the smartest girl or the prettiest girl, but I was always the funny girl. People wanted to hang around me because I was funny --and I like to think, because I was nice. In fact, a couple of years ago one of my friends said she bet I was never Prom Queen becasue I was just too nice--which I took as a huge compliment. Now that I am an adult I find that funny people are whom I am drawn to. I think funny is one of the most attractive characteristics a person can have. Or at least that is what I tell myself--HA!

The picture is from a Three's Company website. I posted it because the Ropers are very quirky. They are great. Norman Fell's facial expression is priceless! I am sure they would be happy to know their characters are being honored in this post.


EDITED---Ok--Risa is a smart ass, and I am a nimrod as I mentioned before. I miscounted due to the fact that I was distraceted by all the people in my house speaking to me in languages I do not understand.

Lobstah Rolls!

I went to Boston for the first time about 9 years ago. The friend I went with kept raving about something called a lobster roll- which I had never even heard of. She explained it to me and I was like--what is the big deal? Lobster on a hot dog bun? Big frickin deal.
Well, when we hit Beantown the first thing we did was get a lobstah roll and let me tell you something--I had a moment of eureka, a moment of nirvana. It was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. I have only lived in land locked areas so most "seafood" I ate was frozen. Hell where I am from Red Lobster and catfish are both considered seafood. Really.

We then headed to Quincy Market where I proceeded to eat about 4 lobster rolls. I got one from every vendor we passed. I remember getting so mad at one place because they ONLY served the lobster roll with clam chowdah. Well I do not like clam chowdah, I just wanted the damn roll. I went to bed that night dreaming about lobster rolls.

In Chicago I have not been able to find a place that has fresh, delicious lobster rolls. I am always trying to get my husband to go to Boston for lobster rolls and of course the Louis Boston store- which is my favorite store in all of Boston.

I cannot wait till my next trip to the east coast so I can finally get a good and proper lobster roll!
I love Boston! The history, the people, the ocean, and the food. But not all the Fila jumpsuits. As my friend "J" pointed out to me, Boston is the Fila jumpsuit capital of the world--and I must admit she is right. I can tolerate the jumpsuits though.....weeding through bad fashion is a small price to pay for my beloved Lobster Roll.

(no offense about the fila jumpsuits, but myfriend "J", who is from Boston says this all the time and it cracks me up!)

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.....

For Annie and Melanie, and Katie.
I had totally forgotten about Grandpere the French Kitty.

Fred Rogers RIP.

Top to bottom Henrietta, Grandpere, and Daniel Tiger.


(photos from family communications, inc.com)

Moo Moo Buckaroo

Do you like milk?

I cannot figure out if I like milk or not. I have a sort of love/ hate relationship with milk. I am like a fickle lover when it comes to milk. It confuses me. It saddens me.

There are times when I CRAVE a cold glass of milk. When I make a pan of brownies or chocolate chip cookies---or warm chocolate cake. A glass of cold milk always sounds perfect with those things. There is even a cake called Tres Leches cake that is crazy delicious. Tres Leches literally means Three Milks. The cake is soaked in 3 different kinds of milk, you keep it in the fridge, serve it cold and it is to die for.

Then there are times when the thought of milk makes me sick to my stomach. Milk with a meal ( a non breakfast type meal) seems so disgusting to me. Warm milk---forget it. It reminds me of how the milk was when it came out of the cow's teet--all warm and body temperature and warm and gross and warm-BLECH!

I was raised to think that milk was the ultimate food. It is considered by some to be so healthy and good for us. I have since learned that cows are shot up with all sorts of hormones, antibiotics and other various weird potions and pills. I am sure some of that bovine drug therapy is not good for us humans. My mother never made me drink milk like some moms do, however one time (she must have been off her meds) she made me drink a small carton of chocolate milk that had gone bad and was warm. My mother is slightly mean when she decides to be. Needless to say, I still have issues with chocolate milk--but a chocolate milk shake does not bother me at all. I know in my rational mind that a chocolate milk shake is just frozen chocolate milk.

See why this confuses me so?

Another thing that really bothers me is milk type products that are not refrigerated in the grocery store. There are certain puddings that are just on a shelf by the cheese whiz. These things are DAIRY PRODUCTS. What in tarnation do they add to these things that make them OK to keep for months at room temperature? I am getting nauseated just thinking about these things.

I am all for the Dairy Farmers of America. I grew up in the midst of many dairys. I am all for milk in general, but I just cannot understand my milk neurosis.

Maybe becasue I was not breast fed? Maybe I have a self fulfilling prophecy about osteoporosis? What do you think?